Living stone succulent flower Bill Glacey https://flic.kr/p/e5CLvg

Live, Learn, and Love

Live, learn and love… I don’t mean to conjure up any bad Alanis Morissette flashbacks, but she might have been on to something:

You live, you learn.
You love, you learn.
You cry, you learn.
You lose, you learn.
You bleed, you learn.
You scream, you learn.

I’ve always heard those lyrics in my head as implying suffering of some kind, with a resulting lesson learned. I don’t think that has to be the case. Crossfit has yet to make me cry or bleed, but my last couple workouts have made me appreciate the learning process in all of its forms.

Last Friday, my friend Sabrena kindly joined me for open gym to work on deadlifts. They don’t come up often in workouts, and I was curious how much I could lift. I suspected it might be one of my stronger lifts, maybe from all the running I’ve done the last few years. And, since the strength component of Crossfit seems to be my favorite part, I wanted to do more of it.

Those coming to Crossfit with absolutely no prior weightlifting experience (like me) have a lot to learn not only in terminology and proper form for the various moves, but in the capacity of their own bodies. I had no idea how much weight to put on the bar to start with, because I had absolutely no clue what I might be able to lift. The process became, for me:

Add weights. Pick it up. Put it down. Still OK? Repeat.

I surprised myself that day, with a final deadlift of 170#. I didn’t lift to the point of failure, as we ran out of time before the main workout, but I doubt I’d have been able to lift much more. Google tells me that as an untrained newbie, at my weight a woman should be able to deadlift 110#, so… go me! The “novice” level is listed as 195#, but I’m not going to lie. I can see 200# in my sights, and I would love to hit that milestone. I’ll try again in a few weeks, maybe around the new year.

My first real deadlift. 170#

This is me, definitely living and loving and learning.

Another thing I’ve realized through Crossfit is that “losing” isn’t always a bad thing. When I joined Crossfit, I very consciously accepted the fact that I was going to finish last at every workout for a long time. Most people equate finishing last to losing, but – at least in Crossfit – you gain a whole lot by finishing last. She who finishes last has the biggest cheering section – quite literally! Sure, I look forward to being the one cheering on my mates, but in the meantime, yes, please! Count for me! Tell me I got this! Hell yeah, I got this!

The last bit Alanis crooned about was screaming. One more thing I’ve learned about myself through Crossfit is that, while not a screamer per se, I’ve been known to occasionally growl at the barbell. It’s nothing compared to the grunting and groaning going on around me, and it blends right in with the booming music and the laughter and the cheers. Besides, nobody is listening to me, anyway – and if they are, they don’t care what it sounds like, as long as I don’t quit.

I came across an article the other day called “What Lifting Weights Taught Me About Being a Woman.” (I think it was another gem from Sabrena – good stuff). Fourth on the list of lessons learned is:

“Treating exercise as a means to be more, as opposed to viewing it as a never-ending struggle to be less, is absolutely a game changer.”

This is one of the most amazing lessons I’m learning through Crossfit. Yes, one of my goals is to lose weight. But Crossfit has redefined how I frame workouts, because my attendance at each class is not with the goal of losing weight. It is with the goals of completing the workout and increasing my strength. I want to be more – more able, more fit, stronger. Losing weight really becomes secondary or even lower down the line, because when I look at the things I am doing with my body in order to become stronger and more fit, it would be impossible not to lose weight.

My focus on numbers has also shifted. I used to weigh myself daily, hoping to see another .2 or .4 pounds lost. I’ve been doing Crossfit for 6 weeks now, and the scale hasn’t changed much. I lost 5 pounds right away, but gained them back. However, I’ve lost over an inch in my waist, and I can’t wear my usual jeans without a belt – so my body is definitely changing. I don’t mind if the scale gets a bit dusty with no use. I’m gaining a whole side of my closet!

There’s a lot to learn when you go from the couch to Crossfit, but so far, the lessons have been inspiring and empowering and life affirming.

You live, you learn.

Living stone succulent flower photo credit: Bill Glacey